Pride or Self-Preservation?

This week I was down in my sewing room and about to go crazy, so just to relieve the frustration of it all, I posted on Facebook. It's a mess down there and I do mean a mess.  The ironing board is down there so clothes get draped over my cut table space, the girls look for ribbons, elastic and such and they leave everything pulled out.  I go hunting for something in a major hurry and don't get back to putting it all away, it rains and the basement floods, so things get pulled out of the water's path and it just is a mess.  Added to all of this, there is way too much stuff down there -- an extra chair, a bed, boxes to be sorted, the list just goes on and on.

Anyway, after posting on FB, a very dear friend commented that she would be more than happy to take care of it, and she's definitely serious.  This lady is awesome!!  When we first moved here I was so intimidated by her :-)  She always seemed to have it all together, extremely organized, able to do anything, and all the while looking gorgeous!!  I have since gotten to know her :-)  I know that sounds awful, like she's not any of those things and I have to chuckle, because she still is all of those things, but now she's also someone I know to have a very caring heart, an unpretentious attitude, and is just as real as the rest of us  (just for example, she saw me in the parking lot one morning at the grade school and asked if her daughter could borrow a pair of my daughter's shoes -- evidently life was crazy that morning and they walked off without footwear)  Someone I truly count as a friend and an equal and certainly not someone that would judge.

So having said all of that, you think I would be jumping up and down at the chance for a real pro to actually come in and fix my room  ---  NOPE, NADA, NO WAY!! 

I then I realized how absolutely crazy that was and have been processing why I feel that way :-)  Why am I so uncomfortable with accepting help.  Do we really think worse of others than we do ourselves, i.e. I would be thrilled to have the opportunity to do something for a friend that would really help them, something that would make an impact in their life, but yet I'm not willing to let someone do the same for me??  If I wouldn't gossip, judge, criticize, etc another person, why would I think a genuine friend would??   Or is it that I care about what people think, I don't want to let all the walls down, it's okay to portray that I'm an open book, but when it comes right down to it, there's no way you're going to see my faults in all their glory. 

Just a bunch of thoughts rolling around -- who knows if they'll ever get resolved.  Chances are my sewing room will get cleaned before they're resolved!! Or then again????