My Own Worst Enemy

I like to think I lead a fairly easy life.  I tend to be pretty easy-going and laidback.  I'm not one to structure my days and don't mind if the things I had planned to do take a back burner to most anything, whether it's something that needs my attention at the grade school, something comes up with K's work, or even if it something that the girls want, or I change my mind about the day.  (Totally read into that -- I'll do almost anything to change my plans when it comes to cleaning and laundry!!!) 

But, in thinking about this -- I tend to by my own worst enemy.  Are we all hot-wired to sabotage ourselves, or am I the only one.  So many times I make my life worse by doing things I know won't work.  It's a good thing I'm not an alcoholic or manic-depressive, or even a home-school mom.  I always, always, always, end up being self-destructive.  Sometimes it's only in little way, but most of the time it's the big things.  Right now it's my health.

I know that staying up late and not eating right create more havoc with my physical well-being.  I know that there are supplements/medicines/etc that I can take to help.  And sometimes I do and they really do help, but that only lasts at the very max 2 weeks or so.  I know that I should make an appointment to see a Dr. and get some of the more serious things checked out -- but do I go -- NO....

I also know that if I do a load of laundry daily or pick up the clutter on a regular basis that my house would not get so out of control.  And there are certainly times when I do that -- I don't know how many time my mom (she's a little OCD!) has come and helped me get the entire house under control and it last for a month or so, but then we all get lazy and it just snowballs yet again. 

Same thing with most all things in my life -- if I were to control, structure, etc..... and do things on a regular basis it would make life so much easier.  But for some dumb reason I like to think the adrenaline rush is good for me to procrastinate and do it all at mad-dash speed.

Why do I always sabotage myself.  Great -- now I'll have something to think about on the drive home :-)