From this day forward ---

9:42 am - phone call that will change our lives forever, but most definitely Hannah's.  The biopsy results are in and there's no doubt that H has Celiac's.  In fact, Dr. thinks she's had it her entire life.  I tend to agree based on all sorts of symptoms.  In some ways, it's a total relief to know that I haven't totally screwed up this little life and raised the monster she sometimes turns into, but that there are reasons why she acts the way she does.  Not that it's an excuse, but not something we have to live with or try to adapt to.

We've been leaning this way for a while.  Her blood work came back positive a couple weeks ago and immediately after the biopsy on Monday, the Dr. told me that her small intestine was classic textbook with scalloped folds, but that the only way to get a definitive answer was to wait until the results came back in. Because we were pretty certain, I've been doing a lot of research and coming up with ways to change our eating habits.  Pretty straightforward - until today.....

I lost it!!  Spent 15 minutes or so on the phone with the nurse and then i was off to have my own blood drawn.  After that was over with, I headed over to the local bookstore to do some searching.  I don't mind the internet, but prefer a book to hold in my hand and reference to over and over.  I was standing there looking at the selection of gluten-free cookbooks and then headed over to the medical section, trying to find something other than cookbooks, something on how to live the day to day life of Celiac. Standing there, the tears just started to flow -- they wouldn't stop. I finally pulled it together, checked out and then sat in the car bawling.  Made it home, and just let it go.  I don't know if it's the relief of finally knowing what's going on, the overwhelmingness of what it's going to take to help Hannah,  the frustration of taking 10 years to figure it out, or a combination of it all.

Talked with my Mom, she shared this quote -

Don't forget that you're human.

It's okay to have a meltdown

Just don't unpack and live there

Cry it out and refocus on where you are headed --

I'm now refocused and am ready to tackle Day 2.  We made it through Day 1 yesterday, so it's step by step moving forward.